Journal of the Wicked
by Grumbello's Hoot
Summary: Galinda and Elphaba have been forced to room together, but when they have no one to groan to about the fact they each turn to their diaries. Will we see a change in their tollerance for each other over time?
1. Chapter 1

**Journal of the Wicked.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Wicked in any way, shape, or form - much to our disappointment. We borrow the characters as we please and make them work at will, or so the will of our muse.**

**Warning: Nothing too serious.**

**Author's note: Here is something we came up with to fill in the time before we give you our crack Swan Queen fic. Each chapter is going to be a diary entry, with me (Hoot) writing Elphaba and Grumbello writing Galinda (sensing a theme here?). The entries will follow the girls from the time they're roomed together, through their budding friendship, and perhaps in to something more.**

**-xo-**

Dear Diary,

Please excuse my annoyance, but how in Shiz am I supposed to room with her for four years? She's just so… blonde! And not only that; she's popular, loud, and thinks she's entitled just because she's of the _Upper Upplands! _Who exactly does she think she's is? My father is the Governor of Munchkinland, but I'm not assuming special treatment because of it (who am I kidding, I'd never get special treatment even If I was 'normal'). And moreso, I'm supposed to be looking after Nessarose, and now I'm not even doing that! I guess I should be grateful that I'm still in Shiz, even if I'm not fulfilling the sole reason I was sent here.

But seriously, she doesn't take her study seriously, fashion is her number one choice for anything, and her friends follow her around like puppies. She incorrigible! She even asked Dr. Dillamond why he was 'harping on about the past' in History. Doesn't that show how much of a bad idea putting us together it? And Boq. Dear, sweet Boq. He thinks he's in love with her, and it's all I hear from him. It's been a day!

Oh, and the nail paint! It's everywhere! Every shade of pink you could think of and she has it. Does she keep it in one spot though? No; it's on her desk, on the floor, under her bed, and I'm sure even in her bed. Then there's the matching bags, shoes, and dresses. I'm sure by the end of the term she's going to have more dresses than there are girls here in Shiz!

Have I mentioned her perfume? It's lavender and something; it smells awful! And the time it takes her to wash! I mean, I don't use water, but if I did, I'm sure there'd be no hot water left!

And the worst part? She feels the need to insult me every chance she gets! And, they're not even clever insults, either.

This is our first night together and already I can feel myself going mildly insane.

I apologise, Diary. I am ranting, aren't I? I'm not like this, you know. But, she gets on my nerve like no one ever has. One of us is surely going to kill the other by the end of the week, and my bet is it isn't going to be her.

Mildly annoyed,  
Elphaba.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**-xo-**

WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? OH SWEET OZ DIARY WHY?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD GIRL!

I  
DON'T  
DESERVE  
TO  
BE  
TREATED  
THIS  
WAY!

I'm sorry I yelled at you dairy. Gosh it's been a bad day though. So here's what happened:

I rolled into the school gates inside Popsicle's most elaborate carriage and I could just see the jealous stares of all the other students outside of my window. I had to wait to make a grand entrance because my cabin boy had fallen asleep in the long journey and was sluggish to wake. As soon as he had opened my door though I stepped out and was greeted with an awed applause. Boys flocked (as they often do diary) and I was wheeled away on top of my luggage. It was perfect, exactly how I envisioned my entrance to Shiz, and so very…what's the word…fictional. It was as if I was in a story…or musical. My ultimate fantasy comes true.

So as these delicious, tastyfying boys wheel me towards the dorm rooms we almost run into Madam Morrible, that horrible old bat. Honestly diary, I know Momsie and Popsicle always taught me to never judge a book by its cover but this book is old and wrinkly and smelt funny and…I couldn't help but think this cover told all.

She immediately sneered at me, just because I was riding my way to the top of the social ladder already. I mean honestly diary…grow up. I know that's the reason why she stuck me with her. Ugh…

HER.

DIARY WHYYYYYYYY?

Her name is Alice? No…Alphoba…uh…Elphaba. That's it…Elphaba. She's so…so…

Green! I even called her an artichoke. My own personal favourite sass. Made me chuckle. Hehehe…where was I?

Oh yeah, she has horrendously hideous black straight hair; she wears drab, grey cotton dresses and man boots and she treats me like I'm an idiot. Well I'm sorry for not caring about the past. OZ! They didn't study about us why should we study about them? Huh? Perfectly reasonable I'd say. Besides, Dr. Dillamond has such a drab, droney voice and it was the first day! Who said we needed classes on the first day? It takes me an entire day just to unpack my matching, fabulous suitcases! Time wasted if you ask me diary.

Anyway I'd better skedaddle. She's glaring at me because I've still got the oil-lamp running and she wants to get her "required nine hours of sleep for class tomorrow". Gosh…what a fuddy-duddy.

Huff!

Toodles Diary  
Galinda  
xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Dear diary,

Sorry for not writing the past three days. I've been busy studying, and by the time I was done it was late and "her highness" needed her beauty sleep so I had to turn out the lamp.

Speaking of her highness, she is as incorrigible as ever. I've tripped over three different shoes today because she leaves them all over the floor! Who owns three different pairs of shoes? And have I mentioned that not a single one of them was practical for anything!?

Not once has she used my name! It's always 'green bean' or 'artichoke', or some other ridiculous thing. And she only addresses me when she's complaining about something I'm doing or teasing me with her friends. Speaking of her friends – I can't tell if they're worse than her or not! Sweet Shiz are they awful when they're all together! It's not even the teasing, it's the incessant talking and laughing and even just their presence! I'm grateful that none of them want to come to our room because I'm pretty sure that not everyone would leave in the same condition.

She's just so… irritating! She has more fashion magazines than textbooks, she can write a whole review on an item of clothing but can't write an introduction to an essay! Her procrastination skills are about the only things she has going for her! I have not once seen her study!

I think this is Madame Morrible's way of punishing me for… well, for something. Being green? Being here because my sister is? Just because? I don't even know, but seriously, it has to be punishment!

I just need to keep my head down, my mouth shut, and get through the year. If she does the same thing we might just survive this.

Hang on, diary. 'The queen' is trying to get my attention by continuously clearing her throat.

I'm back. Apparently my quill was scratching too loudly whilst she was trying paint her nails. See what I have to live with?!

I have to go again. It's getting late, and Shiz forbid she doesn't get her sleep.

Irritated,  
Elphaba.


	4. Chapter 4

Wanna hear something really funny diary? Apparently I'M the insensitive one! ME! ISN'T THAT SO FUNNY! AHAHAHAHA

AHAHA

AHAHAHA

Are you laughing? She glared at me today because I asked her (nicely might I add) to stop writing because it was late. That's not a terrible thing to say and yet she looked at me as if I made fun of her dead munchkin. Was that in poor taste diary? I'm sorry…I am INSENSITIVE!

Dear sweet Ozma am I mad.

She told me the other day that I had too many shoes. No girl ever says that! I don't think there's any such thing as too many shoes. Is there? Maybe if you opened your wardrobe and a tsunami of shoes rained down and then crushed you to death…THAT would be too many. But I only have thirty pairs here…another hundred at home. What's she complaining about?

Oh dairy…get this! I don't study enough either. Isn't that the most stupendously-stupidifying thing you've ever heard? What defines studying enough? Just because she's a bookworm and has no friends doesn't mean she studies the most and I study the least. I study…just not in the dorm. But you never heard that from me.

My friends pity me diary. Do you know how terrible it is to be pitied. I can't blame Elphaba for this one though. I know, shock. It's not her fault she's so...green and bright! It really isn't. I try to stop the giggling when she's around but my friends are so funny! They really know how to bring out the funny side of serious things. If only Elphaba understood that. For someone so smart she can be a bit dim.

I'm going to go now diary, I need to clean up my shoes before her royal highness gets back and trips over them. I don't need any more hate coming towards me today…it makes my hair frizz.

Till next time diary  
Galinda  
xxx


	5. Chapter 5

Oh diary,

I don't even know what to say anymore. I've been trying; dear Ozma have I been trying. I'm curled up in the library because it's late and I didn't want to disturb her royal pain in my ass. I bet she's not even sleeping! I bet she's taking advantage of my absence and is gossiping with her 'friends' and painting each other's nails and doing each other's hair. Doesn't that sound like the worst thing to do on a school night? Or on any night.

I know it's been a week since my last entry, but it's hard to find the time to write you; especially with my every move being monitored by Galinda – making sure I'm not too loud, or taking up too much space, or anywhere near her. It's hard, diary; it's really hard. On the plus side, there have been no new nicknames this week! Green Bean seems to have stuck. That makes it easier to ignore everyone when I know what not to answer to.

I nearly forgot to mention, Galinda's 'friends' cornered me in the lunch room today and gave me 'the talk'. You know, the one where if I come near Galinda or hurt her or anything else ridiculous like that they'd be out to get me. I don't know if she knows about it, but I found it highly amusing. They won't usually come within ten feet of me, I don't see how they're going to 'get me' without touching me. Children. Every last one of them. Surely she could keep better company.

Speaking of company. Boq has been pestering me all week about arranging a meeting or something between he and Galinda. Why would I ever do that? I don't know where he got the idea that she and I are close enough for her to listen to me, but it's not happening. He can do better, I'm sure.

Even if I did arrange a meeting, I'd have to be there to make sure she didn't kill him, or he didn't… I don't know, do something? It's completely impractical. He should just heed my warnings to stay away.

Oh, did I mention how much my sister _idolizes _Galinda? It's atrocious. I keep trying to tell her that there are plenty more people and Animals out there that would be better idols, but she insists that she wants to be like Galinda – pretty, popular, and whatever else she said. It seems like the whole of Shiz is enamoured by her royal highness except me. I bet if they were forced to live with her for a week they would change their minds.

I asked her as nicely as I could to keep her nail paint on her side of the room and off the floor. That didn't go down too well at all. Apparently I'm just bitter because nobody likes me and I need to lighten up. It was the most she had said to me all term; I was a little shocked.

Anyway, I have to go. They're closing the library, and I know I'm not going to have a chance to do anything when I get back to our room. I feel like I'm back home with Nanny telling me what to do and what not to do every few minutes.

Mildly bitter,  
Elphaba.


	6. Chapter 6

Me again, Diary.

Between Galinda's incessant snoring and nightmares, who could sleep? Could she be any more disruptive? Would it be insensitive of me to wake her up so I can get some sleep? I wonder what she would do if I shook her awake; would she be the maddest at me for waking her or for touching her. I'd never hear the end of it, I'm sure.

Anyway, before I was awakened by Miss Upplands snoring, I was having the most confusing dream. I was somewhere in Oz and I was running through a hedge maze in someone's garden. The maze seemed familiar but I just can't place it. I think I was running towards someone, but I'm not sure who it could be. I could feel a sense of urgency, and I could smell lavender and honey, but that's really all that I can remember. It was strange, diary.

Galinda's starting to stir – I better turn out the light before she wakes up or there'll be Ozma to pay.

Tiredly,

Elphaba.


	7. Chapter 7

Dearest Diary,

It's me…Galinda. Duh you knew that. I'm in such a good mood dairy it's hard not to be a little…well…special. The green bean is no longer spending all her time in here studying. She's actually giving me room on the weekends to be with my friends without me having to worry about them clashing together. I'll never admit this to her but…I heard my friends "interrogating" her the other day and it sort of made me mad. Oh not for the reasons you think dairy…I felt mad because I can take care of myself. And as if she would hurt me. HA! I don't even touch her side of the room let alone have her anywhere near me. As if she would be able to hurt me.

Scary thing is, she found my hidey-hole in the library. You know *whispers* how I told you about me studying in the library that's super-secret and you can't tell anyone about? I was going there to study on Friday night. I guess she thought Pfanee and Shen Shen were going to be coming over to our room for a fabulous girls-night-in but I actually needed to cram for a final on Monday and scheduled our meeting for Saturday. I almost walked right out into the little clearing but I managed to catch a whiff of her sandalwood…never mind. I ended up stopping right against the last bookshelf. I couldn't believe it dairy! She was here! I'm going to have to find a new hidey-hole. HUFF!

Oh. MY. OZ! He came back and asked me AGAIN! What's his name? Biq! That's it. The little munchkin with a head of hair taller than him! He's so…little. I don't have anything against munchkinlanders dairy I don't. Even though that entry a week or so back made it sound like I did. It's just…he's too sweet and he hangs around Elphaba a lot and why doesn't he go out with her? Perfect! It'd get him off my back and get her out of my life and maybe a bit more loosey-goosey if you know what I mean diary. Wink. Wink.

Oh but what might get Biq off my back is this delicious-smexifying boy that just arrived at school this afternoon. Fiyero. Oh even his name is gorgeous. He is sex in tights and just…Grrrrrroowwwll. He wanted to meet me again. I think we might become steady. I'm always so lucky.

Speaking of new boyfriends, Pfanee got herself a new boy. Some Gillikin boy who is made of money. He treats her a little shabbily but he buys her (and me…squeal!) gifts. I got this wonderful perfume it's sort of a mix of honey and…some flower. I put it on briefly the other day when I got it. I was hoping it would fill the room and annoy _her _but I got into a bit of mess when the day got hotter than expected and by the time I got to the room I had sort of…sweated it off. I showered and there wasn't a single hint of the smell on me. I guess I'll have to wait to let Elphaba get a whiff.

Anyway I better go dairy. I need to find a new space in the library where I can study without worrying about people finding out I like to study.

Till next time.

Galinda  
xx


	8. Chapter 8

Diary,

Something's been bothering me lately. You remember the dream I told you about last week (yes, I know, it's been a week and I haven't written!), well, the smell that was in it has been bothering me. I don't know if I've been smelling traces of it around, or if it's just my mind reminding me of it. If it's the latter, why would it keep reminding me? I know what honey and lavender smells like and it isn't pleasant, but I keep smelling it. It has me startled, to say the least.

Another thing that has me startled, diary, is how Galinda managed to pass her History test when I haven't seen her study once in two weeks. I've seen her rearrange her shoes in accordance to their colour, when she bought them, or by season, and I've seen her do the same with her dresses. She's tried on every colour nail paint she has just to take it off again, and she's brushed her hair over 700 times in a week. I've seen her do all of these things, but not once have I seen her study. I'm a little perplexed, but also a little proud, at how well she did.

Now, enough about how good she did and how, let me remind you that she and I are not on good terms. The other day I was walking between classes when one of her friends stole one of my (well, the libraries) text books. I spent the next two hours trying to track it down, only to find it on my desk again. Whilst Galinda wasn't the one who took it, I'm almost positive she had something to do with it. How else would it have ended up back on my desk? These games are seemingly endless when it comes to _her eminent_ and her band of merry men.

It's getting tiresome, diary. I try and keep the peace. I stick to myself, keep my head low and only offer sarcastic remarks when they're really called for. It's getting harder to bite my tongue, but I know if I have one toe out of line Madame Morrible will find an excuse to kick me out of Shiz. Won't father be happy then?

Oh, and hasn't Boq been the persistent one? At first I was annoyed, but now I'm just amused. If he won't be deterred by my constant reminding him that Galinda is no good for him, he's just going to have to learn for himself. I'm almost tempted to try and arrange a meeting between them; partly because it will get Boq off my case once and for all, and partly because I know just how much it would displease Galinda. That is if she'll even hear me out and agree to the idea. Just suggesting it, or even talking to her would annoy her though. Looks like I win either way!

Speaking of boys, a new one has just blown in to town. Says he's the Winkie Prince. I don't like him. He's the _popular_ boy who is going to bring a bad name to the University, I can just see it. He's just so… shallow and self-absorbed! Galinda seems to be quite taken to him, of course. Maybe they are the perfect match. And maybe it will keep her off my case. Perhaps this boy isn't such a bad thing after all.

I better go, diary. I can hear Galinda outside the door. It's late so she must be coming back from one of her dates or a friend's dorm. Who knows with her? I do know, however, that I don't want to be here writing whilst she's getting ready for bed. She's peculiar when it comes to certain things.

Quizzical,  
Elphaba.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry guys! My (grumbello's) bad. I am so bad at this updating thing. If it wasn't for Hoot this wouldn't have happened. You can all thank her :P  
****Enjoy friends  
****Grumby  
****xx**

**P.s...if I've written dairy instead of dairy...writing it quickly is hard and both look so similar and it's hard to pick up ok? Don't judge me :P**

Mwahahahahahahahahaha,

I am 98% good dairy, I really am but lately my 2% evil has been showing. Elphaba has been completely unnerved by her slight whiffs of my delicious perfume. I know she doesn't like it hence why I spread it around. It's not my fault she doesn't like perfumes…or soap. I swear she never washes. She avoids the shower like the Munchkin plague. I wonder how she smells…well…normal then? I know that if I didn't have my daily, five hour baths in milk and cherry blossom, I'd stink like our horse-hands back home.

So I passed all my tests! Homework has been such a bore but the studies…fascinating. Do you know, diary, that the Shiz library is over 200 years old? That old and not one single thing has changed. Oh, they supported the structures from crumbling over the years but the design and everything is EXACTLY the same. It's so beautiful. I love architecture.

I need to be a bit more adventurous also dairy. I need to branch out, see new places. There is apparently a nice café house near here that has antique arches and the Ozma church down the road is over 600 years old! I'm practically combusting! It's so exciting diary…I can't even Galinda properly!

What else?

Hmm, oh yeah…

Elphie (I call her Elphie to her face because she doesn't like nicknames…at least that's what I overheard her saying to the other girls) is actually starting to mellow. Like…calm the Shiz down. She doesn't glare at me half as much and seems to understand that my nail polishes are staying where they land…on the floor. I swear that girl looked like she was about to explode a couple of weeks ago. She even said something to me last night. She said in a really deep, surly voice…imagine my voice diary:

"Galinda, when you're ready, can you please extinguish the light?"

And then she turned over and fell asleep. Not bad huh? Considering, like, last week she was shooting daggers at me just for talking to you. I truly think I've won.

I AM CHAMPION!

But of course I am, I'm Galinda Upland! I always win.

Anyway my darling diary I better go, I have a date with Fiyero…yes things are going fantastically. He's so spunkerific and just a great, handsome, rich…prince. I'm so lucky to be with him and his wonderful, rich, life. He spends so much money on me, Elphaba can't stand it. She literally turns green with envy. Hahahahaha get it? Cause she is green! Hahahaha.

I think she's jealous. Oh! Maybe she likes Fiyero? OH! She can't have him. Ha! What am I saying? As if he would go for her over me. Right?

I better go before I start worrying so much I get wrinkles.

Wish me luck diary.  
Galinda  
xx


End file.
